We Got Trouble Right Here In Sinner City

In "The Music Man," Professor Harold Hill used fear to control the people of River City. Who would have known the Professor ultimately became "The Legalist Pastor?" :)

If you're unfamiliar with it, watch the video first -then read the words beneath it.





The Legalist Pastor:

Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a so-called “grace teacher” in your community,

Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in Sinner City.
Why sure I'm a church-goer,
Certainly mighty proud I say,
I'm always mighty proud to say it.

I consider that the hours I spend
With a Scofield Study Bible in my hands are golden.
Help you cultivate good morals,
And a pure mind and godly speech.
Ever try to know the date Jesus is coming back?
And fit the whole book of Daniel inside John’s Revelation
like an unsoiled hand in a pure white glove?

But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to know
how to “come out from among them and be ye separate.”
I say that any boob kin take
A modern translation of the Bible and show a weak Christian
Verses that talk about this “freedom in Christ,”
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day--
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.

An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is goin’ to church
In baggy pants pulled down to his waist.
And list'nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin' him singing songs that he calls contemporary Christian music.
Not a wholesome traditional hymn, no!
But a song where they use SIN-thesizers, keyboards they call ‘em.

Like to see some tattooed, pierced youth leader
Standing behind the Sacred Desk? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five chapters in the book of James.
Chapters that mark the diff'rence
Between conviction and compromise,
With a capital "C,"
And that rhymes with "D" and that stands for Devil!

And all week long your Sinner City
Youth'll be frittern away,
I say your young men'll be frittern!
Frittern away their prayer time, Bible study,
Church time too!
“Just rest in Jesus Christ.”
Never mind gittin' MTV disconnected
Or rock CDs destroyed or coverin’ that Chinese tattoo on your hip.
Never mind puttin’ back money for your tithe
'Til you’re your caught on Sunday morning without
a cent when the offering plate come by and that's trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.

I'm thinkin' of the kids in the hallways at school,
Young girls with pierced belly buttons and tattooed backs,
Boys with earrings, holding their pants up with one hand,
Looking at each other with stares that would make a sailor blush, look, folks!

Right here in Sinner City.
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "D" and that stands for Devil!

Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda music goes
On while they're loafin' around that hall?
They’ll be tryin' out ColdPlay, tryin' out Lady Gaga,
Tryin' out Korn and Black Eyed Peas!
And I don’t mean food at the dinner table either.
Talkin’ about how they're gonna cover up their Nickleback “Dark Horse” album with a Britiny Spears case.

One fine night, they leave the church fellowship hall,
Headin' for the dance at the nightclub!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rap-time, shameless music
That'll grab your son, your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instink!
Mass-staria!

Friends, a brain set free is the devil's playground!

People:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in Sinner City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Devil,
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in Sinner City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral after Sunday School!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

Legalist Preacher:
Mothers of Sinner City!
Heed that warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he pull his pants waistline below the waist?
Is there a small hole in his earlobe?
A pass code lock on his I-Phone that only he knows?
Is he starting to memorize lines from
The Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'dawg?"
And 'dope?"

Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in Sinner city!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Devil,
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in Sinner City!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!

Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
The youth aren’t right! It's a horrible sight. They’ve turned unlevel,
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! That rhymes with "D"!
And that stands for Devil!!!

(lyrics copyrighted 2009, Steve McVey - only to keep somebody else from claiming rights to them. Yeah, right. Like somebody else would want them)