I know somebody who is extremely gifted. He has a charismatic personality, is intelligent and is very competent. He has the capacity to excel at almost anything he tries to accomplish in life. Nobody, and I mean nobody, who knows him would ever wonder if he lacks the confidence to reach any goals he ever set for himself.
But the problem is that he doesn't see himself that way. Instead, he lives with a nagging sense of insecurity that he hides well from others. Although he could reach great heights in life, he lives at a low level of achievement because of those underlying feelings of inferiority and insecurity.
Is he gifted? Could he accomplish anything? Yes! That is an absolute truth. It is what would accurately be called the "objective reality" of the situation.
Is he living out of that reality? No. He believes all the negative things that the recriminating voices in his own head whisper to him. He thinks that the truth is that he is a loser and that if people knew the real him, that's what they'd see. That is his "subjective reality."
What needs to happen in his life is that he needs to come alive to the truth - to the objective reality of who he really is. If that were to happen, his subjective reality would be changed to reflect the truth. He would stop living subjectively under the lie that holds him back and he would then be able to live up to the objective reality that has been true of him all along.
Objective reality is real whether we believe it or not. Subjective reality is what we perceive reality to be at a personal level, whether it's actually true or not. In the case of what Jesus did for us at the cross, the objective reality is that His finished work applies to every person on the planet. But until they believe it, their subjective reality will never reflect the truth - neither in this life nor the next.
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@ Steve, I really appreciate your blog. I now check here every morning to see if there is any new morsel of grace to put in my pocket and snack on as the day goes by. Thank you for taking the time to publish your thoughts here.
ReplyDelete@John, I am in a healing marriage, and I feel for you, John. It sounds like there is a lot of accumulated hurt between you and your beloved. May the gracious God of love bring healing to the both of you as you untangle the hurts and strengthen the good that drew you two together in the first place.
For many years my husband has been depressed without knowing it, and this has definitely affected our marriage. Much of his pain is the result of being an MK/PK of a fundamentalist preacher. Religion hurts. On my part, I am the daughter of an absent father and an emotionally unbalanced mother. We two wounded souls found each other because God graciously wants us both to find acceptance and life in sharing God's love with each other.
We spent many years instead hurting each other, each of us seeing the other through our own lens of abandonment and abuse. We each need to continue finding healing for our own hearts in the gracious love of God, as well as learn how to turn away from the old habits of retreating from each other's need while clamoring for our own to be met.
Things are changing for us, and for that we both are truly grateful. Anti-depressants is part of the solution for my husband. Being depressed for so long really affected the biology of his being, so that was a necessary part of his being able to be happy again. Since he was raised fundamentalist, he had to get really really unhappy before he would even consider this help.
He's also a smart man though, and once the science was explained to him, he was ready to give it a shot. I am so glad he did! It was like a booster was applied to all the good things he was working on already- renewing his mind, letting God love him, exercise, sunlight, nutrition.
I'm including links of places that have helped us on our journey, not because they are the definitive resources, but because they are part of our grace journey to healing. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to experience the love of God everyday as a reality, and to be able to share that with your wife in a reflection of God's love relationship. Wishing you all the best, SS
www.agme.org
www.joelandkathy.com
www.lifeskillsintl.org
www.emdr.com
Thanks Steve
ReplyDeleteOver the years I have subjectively, in my mind, will and emotions, extracted from certain Bible versus that I made my own paradigm of thinking. So I followed others or took people with me on my own deluded beliefs. So what is different today! Objective truth comes from outside of me! There is no way of knowing this by just searching the scriptures. I cannot paint my subjective belief on the face of God, this is religion.
The Father reveals himself through Jesus by the Spirit who has come into all of my darkness to shine his objective light. He was and is never absent from me or anyone of us! So have I got it all figured out? Are you kidding me! The more I come to dance with him the more I also come to realize my own lack.
However focus on the positive of the incredible love of the person and work of Jesus has to become my mindset over the negative illusions that have rooted themselves in my thinking! The world is ready to live from REAL LOVE, A PERSON, rather than all the religious philosophies that have deceived them. This objective love is not far away, it is already in us, we just need to trust and believe it is so!
Hi Steve
ReplyDeleteWanted to add to my previous comment objectively I have it all together, subjectively I still live in a lot of unbelief.
This is what I have been saying for several years now, only I call it reality and virtual reality. Ever since I learned the truth (I was in a fundamentalist church for years), I have realized that most of the church is living in virtual reality. It is like they are in the matrix, and what is reality to them is the lies they have been fed by the church. For a long time I had to go through the process of weeding out the lies and learning the truth. I love your blog and other writings because you give us truth, reality. You help unplug people from the matrix, from the virtual reality they have been brainwashed with. Thank you!
ReplyDelete"...all the negative things that the recriminating voices in his own head whisper to him. He thinks that the truth is that he is a loser and that if people knew the real him, that's what they'd see."
ReplyDeleteI can relate. :-(
But I know who "Edenfire" is, and I can tell ya, "It ain't so!" :) Edenfire is a masterpiece - a divine work of Art that will be displayed in the art galley of heaven forever. And for eternity, everybody who sees this work of art will say one thing and only one thing -- "Wow! When our God creates something beautiful, He doesn't do a mediocre job. Awesome!" :)
ReplyDelete