How I Learned To Dance

I didn’t grow up dancing. In fact, the message I received was that the reason premarital sex was wrong was because it might lead to dancing. Okay, maybe that’s not true, but dancing was one of the big no-no’s at my house. We could tap our feet to the Lawrence Welk Show and I could even sing along with the 1960s Rock-n-Roll music of WRBN but that’s as far as it went.

My wife, Melanie, however didn’t grow up in such an environment. Lively music and dancing in the living room were as much a part of her family life as having meals together. Something about that caused me to envy her when we were teens. I wanted to dance but I just didn’t know how and, plus, I was afraid Jesus might come while I was dancing and was convinced that would be an awkward moment if He did.

Sometime around our 20th Wedding Anniversary we went on a cruise to celebrate. As we sat listening to the music and watching others on the dance floor, Melanie asked me, “Let’s dance?”

“You know I don’t know how to dance,” I told her. I had taken her to two dances when we were in high school but I stood on the sidelines and we didn’t stay long. She didn’t like it then and she still didn’t like it.

“Come on, there’s nothing to it,” she responded.

On the one hand I knew I didn’t know how to dance but on the other I wanted to please my wife. I sat silently for a few moments and watched the other men with the wives on the dance floor. I began to note something I’d not previously known. Most men can’t dance. They’re just props for the women who do dance.

I watched the guys shuffle back and forth from foot to foot with their hand raised to chest level and began to think that maybe I could do it after-all.

“Okay, when they play a good song,” I answered.

Shortly the band began to play a song that caused Melanie to say, “Okay, let’s go. This one is easy.”

“What makes you think this is easy?” I asked.

“Because it’s a cha-cha beat,” she said. “Listen to the beat. It’s one, two , one-two-three; one, two, one-two-three.”

I took a deep sigh and onto the dance floor we went. We started to dance. I watched my feet and consciously counted with each step: “One, two, one-two-three. One, two, one-two-three.”

“Don’t watch your feet,” Melanie instructed. “This isn’t hard.”

“I can’t talk to you and count at the same time,” I replied as I now lost count.

“Look at my face,” she said. “Just relax and feel the rhythm.”

I looked at Melanie’s face. “How did I end up married to such a beautiful woman? One who can dance?” I thought.

As the evening progressed, I found that what Melanie told me was true. When I relaxed and began to enjoy being with her instead of focusing on counting, I began to feel the rhythm of the music and, for the first time, I actually began to dance.

The relationship of the Trinity has been compared to a dance for many centuries. Perichoresis, theologians call it. It refers to the interpenetration of harmony between the members of the Godhead that is often compared to dancing. Father, Son and Spirit have been dancing together all along. He has created humanity to participate in The Dance.

Like I was in the beginning on the cruise ship, all of us are at the dance but not all are dancing. Those who have trusted Jesus Christ are participating in the dance while many are wallflowers at the party. We’re all included in the dance and the divine invitation is to get up off that wall and dance!

Too many of us who are dancing become too preoccupied with making sure we don’t miss a step. We’re watching our feet instead of starring into the face of our Dance Partner. We're there, but we’re not really being there. What we need is to relax, look at the One who brought us to the dance and feel the rhythm of grace.

Are you participating in The Big Dance? If not, go ahead. Let loose. Shake off the legalistic inhibitions that hold you back. Get up and get into the grace groove. It really is quite a party and it would be a shame to miss it.