I'm in Arcadia, California tonight after a long day of travel. I love the state of California. I've sometimes said that if it weren't for family and friends in the South, I could be happy living here. It's a beautiful state with great weather.When I landed at LAX today and picked up my rental car, they asked me, "Do you want the GPS?" Those who know me have heard me describe myself as "directionally challenged," to put it mildly. I know up and down. Beyond that, the whole world becomes a Bermuda Triangle for me. So accepting the GPS offer didn't take a split second to decide.
As I made the almost hour long drive from the airport to Arcadia, it was a pleasant drive despite the traffic. I didn't know where I was going, but the nice lady inside the Garmin (GPS) did. She politely told me every turn to take, even warning me in advance of approaching turns and giving me plenty of time to get into the correct lane for the turn.
I remember the first time I came to California. There was no such thing as a GPS then. Melanie and I came here many years ago to celebrate our anniversary. We flew into San Francisco and, after spending a night at Fisherman's Wharf, drove a big loop covering John Muir Woods, Yosemite National Park, Reno, Lake Tahoe, Sacramento, Napa Valley and ending up in San Fran again. I did enjoy the trip a lot, but I do clearly remember the constant stress I felt trying to figure out where I was at and where I was supposed to be going at any given moment. In the midst of immensely enjoying the sites were plenty of Rolaids to help deal with the stress of my directional disability.
It's not that way at all when I drive anywhere these days. I was thinking about it as I drove here today and the thought popped into my mind: "I wish I trusted the Holy Spirit in me as much as I trust this GPS." With the GPS, I didn't give a second thought to whether or not I would reach my destination. I was able to simply relax and hum along with the radio while I followed the instructions the nice voice was giving me as I drove.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm not so relaxed about my life journey sometimes. I know in my head that the Spirit of Christ inside me will guide me, but my feelings sometimes don't believe it. I find myself at times feeling anxious about the future even though I know better. I imagine immediate circumstances not unfolding the way I expect and want and foresee some long-term scenarios not having a pleasant outcome either. But the truth is the truth and that Truth is that He is in me and will most certainly guide me to the destination He has planned.
Do you find yourself feeling anxious about the future at times? Maybe it's tomorrow. Maybe it's years from now. Somebody said that worry is imagining the future without God in it. I think I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me today through the voice coming out of that GPS. He said, "You can trust Me. I know where we're going and I promise I will see to it that you safely arrive there."
Okay, Lord. If you'll keep teaching me, I'll just make the journey with you and maybe at times even hum along the way.
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Hah, we are in the same state! I'm in the Mojave Desert. This mysterious wifi connection shows up once or twice a day but it's extremely slow. No clue where it's coming from, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI pray this will be a great time for you, Moriah, that you'll feel His embrace nurturing you every day you're there!
ReplyDeleteWhen traveling around, my husband and I use our handy dandy M.A.P. system . . . which stands for Manual Automobile Positioning system!
ReplyDeleteBut my question is, when do we get to put life on autopilot? (I jest!)
Steve ,
ReplyDeleteI have a story for you . I live in a small town in washington and Im not used to driving in the city . Monday I had to drive to renton to pick something up . I have never been to renton before . Armed with a map I set out on the journey . I got lost several times trying to find the place I needed to go and several times trying to get home .What should have only taken an hour and a half tured into a four and a half hour nightmare. A gripping fear accompanied me the whole time.
When I got home I felt so defeated ,embarassed and depressed That I drank a whole jug of wine . In my drunken stupor I felt angry . Why do I have so little faith ! I said .Christ is in me ! why do I fall apart ! I said . I should be strong !I said . Then later on that evening I sat down and talked with Jesus and read the scriptures . and saw that he was with me .He was there the whole time and that he loves me with an everlasting love . It's ok .
I Realized that I was upset because Im a grown man and grown men are "suppose" to be strong and in control . I was comparing myself to other men who appear to have no fear . I would ask, "Why am I such a wimp compared with so and so ." And while I was at It I was comparing myself with them about everything in my life . Laugh out loud .
Hope you enjoyed this story .
I know what you mean when talking about knowing the truth, but feelings expressing something different. In June, about 18 months into a reconciliation with my ex-wife, she all of a sudden broke it off with me because she had become involved with another man. We have two children, ages 10 & 12. Needless to say I was shocked and devastated. I've been through some serious low periods in my life, but have come to learn through HIS gentle lovingkindness the truth of HIS love for me/us. And HE is always asking me to trust HIM. Always telling me how much HE loves me. Telling me HE is working out HIS plan for my life and the lives of those I love. And I wholeheartedly believe every bit of it. But these old feelings keep rising up. I continue to roll them back on HIM, for HE is our burden-bearer. And I am just trusting HIM to walk me through this day by day. As hard as it is, I know this is a wonderful time,a time to walk by faith that is impossible without the presence and leading of the Holy Spirit. A time of trusting HIM for HIS best when all looks hopeless. And knowing that HE is using all of this and working all of this together for all of our good. I guess one of the hardest things to do is to let go of someone you love and cherish, because they ask you to. Letting go of what you thought was a promise of GOD to you, letting go of your dreams and saying, "Father you do whatever it is YOU desire for me and with me. I can't make anything happen worthwhile, I'll just trust in YOUR goodness and YOUR love for me. 'Whom have I in heaven but YOU, and besides YOU I desire nothing on earth. Though my flesh and my heart may fail, GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.'" Thanks for listening. I'm just thinnking out loud....GOD is good and HE is in complete control. So, no worries...right????
ReplyDeleteSam, first let me say how sorry I am for your pain. To suggest "no worries" doesn't at all invalidate the hurt you feel right now. It's okay to hurt and to express that pain, especially to your Heavenly Father. You are right that He is in complete control, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still feel like living hell when you're going through this sort of thing. I encourage you to look to Him for strength moment by moment. He will carry you through this. Know that He feels your pain with you and that He loves you and won't forsake you, even though it may feel that way at times.
ReplyDeleteI also encourage you to connect to a trustworthy, compassionate friend or even a counselor with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it helps to have another person to help us sort out our feelings and emotions. It's always easier to face this kind of thing with somebody than to go through it alone.
Forgive me if my response here sounds like I'm trying to mind your business or tell you what to do. I've said these things to encourage you to not go this alone. I do pray that you'll find peace and guidance as you move forward in the days ahead. This darkness will pass and the light will shine in your life again.
Steve, I love your heart, and the way the heart of our Master shines into and through yours. The breath of Ruach Ha-Kodesh is all over your words. You are such a blessing. May Yeshua bless you mightily today, you and your dear wife Melanie and your whole precious family.
ReplyDeleteThank you Steve for your care and concern. I almost apologize for posting publicly such an intimate and lengthy thought. But I think it's ok. I do have some very close friends, friends who understand grace, who are walking with me through this. Sorry I missed you guys in Atlanta recently. I was able to attend the one earlier this year. I've actually had someone contact me who attended the conference who lives in Rome and has questions about Gracewalk groups. So, who knows....maybe the beginning of something new. Thanks again for the wondrous teaching of grace.....
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