God As Our Friend

The French poet, Jacques Delille wrote, “Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.” None of us decided into which family we would be born, but we do decide who we want to be our friends. Nobody wants to be best friends with every person he meets. However, there are certain people that come across our paths whom we decide we would like to know better. We make the effort to establish a relationship with them and, over a period of time, deep friendships develop.

My friend, Debbie shared an experience with me not long ago that I found to be amazing. She was a junior in high school during the time that Richard Nixon was President of the United States. In one of her classes, she had an assignment to write a report on the President’s wife, Pat Nixon. As she studied Mrs. Nixon’s life, Debbie gained a deep respect and appreciation for her.

One of the coincidental details of Mrs. Nixon’s life that Debbie learned was that they both had the same birthday. She decided to write the first lady and express her respect and appreciation for her. In her letter, she made her aware that they both shared the same birthday.

A short time later Debbie received a letter from Mrs. Nixon. Not a form letter, but a personal, hand written letter. Debbie decided to respond to Mrs. Nixon’s letter by writing her a second time. She did and again Mrs. Nixon responded with a personal letter. What followed was that the seventeen year old high school girl and the President’s wife became pen pals. Debbie and Mrs. Nixon wrote each other for several years.

In March of 1974, the Nixon’s were invited to the opening of The Grand Old Opry in Nashville, Tennessee. The opening day also happened to coincide with Mrs. Nixon’s and Debbie’s birthday. To her delight and surprise, the now nineteen year old Debbie received a letter from Mrs. Nixon, inviting her to be her guest at The Grand Old Opry. Debbie went to Nashville, where she stood waiting with visiting dignitaries to meet President and Mrs. Nixon. One snobbish woman, looked this young nineteen year old girl up and down and arrogantly asked, “And why are you here?” Debbie simply answered, “I’m an invited guest of Mrs. Nixon.”

As Debbie told the story to me, she said, “I couldn’t believe it. There I was as the guest of the guest of honor.” Among all those who clamored to have a brief moment with Mrs. Nixon, nineteen year old Debbie Streeter was her guest and her friend.

It is an amazing facet of the gospel of grace that God has chosen you to be His friend. You aren’t God’s friend in the same sense that Mrs. Nixon and Debbie were friends. Their’s was a casual connection, but God’s connection to you is very personal and deeply intimate. His desire is that the friendship you two share be the closest relationship you will ever have to anybody.

One benefit of an intimate friend is that there is nothing that can’t be shared between them. True friendship doesn’t disconnect because of faults each may have. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." One of the strengths of the modern Promise Keepers movement is the emphasis on the importance of men connecting with close friends with whom they can be completely vulnerable and transparent.

God is that kind of friend to you. Do you feel free to share the deepest and darkest aspects of your life with Him? You can, because is He completely accepting of you. Understanding and believing in God’s complete acceptance is a vital key in developing intimacy with him.

Five couples in our G.R.A.C.E. GROUP sat together one evening in my home. We had been singing choruses, laughing and talking, and sharing the snacks each had brought. As the time approached when we were going to pray together, one of the ladies in the group began to speak. Tears filled her eyes and her voice quivered as she said, “John (not his real name) and I need your prayers. We agreed before we arrived tonight that we would ask you to pray for us concerning a problem we have.” She then began to explain how she had committed adultery and had recently confessed her sin to her husband. Tears streamed down the cheeks of both of them. Those of us in the room began to cry too as Mary (not her real name) described what had happened and the impact it had on their relationship.

After she had finished talking, my wife, Melanie, spoke first. “Mary,” she said, “the first thing you need to know is that there is nothing you could ever tell us that would cause us to love you any less.” As Melanie spoke, I am sure that everybody in the room felt what I felt – the manifest presence of God. When she ministered loving acceptance to our friend, we were all aware of Jesus speaking through her at that moment. His gracious acceptance and gentle Spirit permeated the room.

We had John and Mary move their chairs to the center of the room, where we all gathered around them and, one by one, prayed for them. We then hugged them, held them and assured them of our love. The healing had begun.

Intimacy requires openness. You don’t have to put your best foot forward with God. He knows you, everything about you, and still loves you completely. There is nothing you could ever tell Him that would cause Him to love or accept you any less. “The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is [His] faithfulness” (Lamentations 2:22-23, emphasis added)! You’ll never have another friend like God.

Understanding God’s total acceptance not only frees us from the prison of self condemnation, but also empowers us to love others who have sinned. We are able to give them the same compassionate tenderness of Jesus that we ourselves have received. Those who don't know they have received compassion can’t give it. For the one who has experienced the gentle acceptance of Jesus, it is natural thing to tenderly share it with others.

Lorraine Hansberry wrote Raisin In The Sun, the story of an Afro-American man who makes mistakes that shatter his family’s hopes and dreams. When he confesses to his family and asks for their forgiveness, his sister responds in hostile anger, calling him horrible names.

Her mother interrupts her display and says, “I thought I taught you to love him.” “Love him? There is nothing left to love,” the sister responds in anger. Then the mother answers:

“There is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for yourself and for the family ‘cause we lost the money. I mean for him; what he’s been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most; when they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well, then, you ain’t through learning – because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ‘cause the world done whipped him so. When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is.

God has seen the hills and valleys of your life. He has seen you at your best and your worst, and yet still loves you unconditionally. He wants you to share yourself completely with Him, with complete confidence that He will not respond in criticism. The score card on your life was torn up at the cross and God has stopped keeping score on you. Your friendship with Him isn’t about how you behave. Ironically, the realization of that fact is the only thing that will cause your behavior to change. Friendship with God is about enjoying each other’s company. It is a union which will never end for all eternity. He wants you to tell Him everything and He will do the same.

Jesus said, “I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). As you walk with Him, He will reveal more and more to you about the Father until the day you see Him face to face. He is the “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Emily Dickinson once said, “My friends are my estate.” That is how Jesus feels toward you. You are His inheritance, a gift from God to Him.

(My postings for the last three days have been excerpts from my book A Divine Invitation. Click here for more information on the book: Divine Invitation