I act like a fool sometimes. I know what it is to have thoughts unbefitting somebody who is following Jesus. I’ve thought things, said things and done things that I wouldn’t write about. Sometimes I’ve wondered if I’ll ever master the very subject which I have given my life to teaching. The fact is that we are all in the same boat. Human beings wrapped up in human weakness. Dependent on unilateral grace and grace alone.
Despite my deficiencies, I want God. I constantly yearn for the tender embrace of Jesus. While my inconsistencies are many, that’s not one of them. I have tasted Deity and am now eternally addicted. I have no time for or interest in dead religion. Artificial environments make me emotionally queasy these days. Been there, done that.
I'm closing in on 59 years old. Common sense causes me to know that I must be somewhere on this side of halftime in the game of life. I don’t want to spend the rest of the game wasting time on things that aren’t real. I want to drink deeply from Life. My Kool-Aid days are over. I want to become a connoisseur of fine wine in the days I have left.
I can’t explain or defend it to the skeptic, but by His Spirit, He has seduced me to Himself in such a way that I can never be nor want to be free of Him. I can no more understand Him than I can know all the mysteries of the sea, but I am forever captivated by His charm and enthralled by His love for me.
I have determined to just rest in Him and my hope in the unimaginable scope of His grace. My choice can’t be justified in the eyes of those who don’t believe, but I am past having to justify it. It struck me recently that the only ones of us debating grace are those of us who profess to have some level of understanding about it. Everybody else is just soaking it up. By grace, I'm done with defending a message that doesn't need a defense with those who see it and has none for those who don't. I plan to spend the rest of my life just proclaiming it.
Some may say that there is no ocean where one can see through crystal clear water fifty feet to the bottom, but I’ve been there. I don’t have to prove it to anybody; I know it. I know what I know. Is it a waste for a man to spend his days choosing to simply live in the presence of God through Christ? Not to me.
Do you sense this same inner call toward Christ? That pull you experience isn’t generated from within yourself. It is there because God’s Spirit is pulling you toward Jesus. He is lovingly seducing you to Himself. God seducing you. Think about that – God wants you!
He knows you completely. There’s nothing you think, say or do that He isn’t fully aware of, yet He wants you. How can you know this is true? It is because you want Him. Nobody wants God unless His Spirit creates a hunger within them to know Him.
So be encouraged. Do you have doubts? Are you painfully aware or your weaknesses? Do your failures sometimes rise up in your mind to condemn you? If so, welcome to Faith 101. That’s normal. Those same thoughts and feelings you have, I have. So does everybody else. We are all wired the same way. It is human circuitry and being a believer doesn’t negate normal human experiences. But the fact that you feel a divine pull says something powerful about what God's Spirit is doing in you.
Possessing the life of Jesus Christ offers great potential. You don’t have to be controlled by your weaknesses. Doubts don’t have to dominate you. You can choose to put your faith in the One who is pulling you toward Himself and simply trust Him to finish what He has started.
Grace means none of it is up to you. It’s all about Him and what He is doing. Remember, it’s not up to you to make anything happen between you and God. Your role is simply to respond in faith to the pull that you are experiencing.
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