“I just say whatever is on my mind,” a person who was expressing an opinion in an animated way recently said to me. I didn’t respond to the comment, but couldn’t help but think about the Bible verse that says, “A fool uttereth his whole mind, but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards” (Proverbs 29:11, KJV).When I was young man I felt an internal mandate to not only express my opinion, but also to convince others that mine was the right way to see a matter. I’m not sure if it’s simply a matter of maturing with age or maturing in grace, or maybe a combination of the two, but I don’t feel the need to always make others agree with me anymore. To the contrary, I find myself often saying nothing at times when my thoughts may be in direct contradiction to what somebody may be expressing to me.
The Bible makes it clear that there is a virtue in learning when and how to be quiet. James wrote that we should be quick to hear, but slow to speak. (See James 4:19) Paul wrote to “let your speech be always with grace” (Colossians 4:6). Another time he taught that we should study to be quiet and mind our own business. (See 1 Thessalonians 4:11)
Highly opinionated babblers can be trying at times. I know because I used to be one. Maybe I still am at times, I’m not sure. I do know that I’m a verbal processor who tends to sort through things by talking about them. I recognize that I need grace to enable me to shut-up sometimes.
When I see opinionated, non-stop talkers like the one I mentioned in the first paragraph, I occasionally ask myself, “Do I still act like that at times?” That’s certainly not what I want.
Do you say too much, too often? If so, pray for God’s grace to flow through your actions in such a way as to cause you to know when to say nothing and then enable you to do it. Sometimes grace never looks better than when it enable us to simply shut-up.
UUMMMMMMM!!
ReplyDeleteGreat article.
ReplyDeleteI also believe in the grace to speak at the right time. Timing is everything. I'm learning that though I might have the right thing to say, it may be the wrong time. And then when the time is right, the power in my words increases.
Here is a great piece by Henri Nouwen about listening, which i found really helpful. As we grow in grace we find we don't need to 'compete in conversations' etc..
ReplyDelete"“To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.”
Henri Nouwen
“True listening is worship.”
i just cannot express myself to anyone including you the freedom and the joy that i am now experiencing in Jesus since i started listening to your Sunday Preaching and your blogs and reading your book "GraceWalk"
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. God love you,Steve, Melanie and Cheryl A. Grace Hanson
Grace - your growth over these years has been a real encouragement to me :)
ReplyDelete"Let your speech be always full of grace seasoned with salt that you might know how to talk to or answer anyone."
ReplyDeleteSlow to speak, quick to listen, slow to become angry. Good blog. DC
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