My First Date . . .

I've shared this story a thousand times, but assume many of my FB friends haven't heard it. It's about my first date, which turned out to be the girl I've been married to for over 36 years, pictured at 18 years old here.

I met my wife when I was sixteen years old. On the day of that date, I went to great effort to cause her to like me. As soon as I came home from school that Friday, I drove dad’s car around into the backyard. I filled a pail with Joy Dishwashing Detergent and went to work cleaning that car. I scrubbed it from top to bottom. I used tire black on the tires to make them shiny. I sprayed Armor All on the interior. I vacuumed the carpet. That car was clean.

About two hours before I was to pick her up, I began to get groomed and dressed. I showered and put on my navy blue pants, my light blue shirt and even wore a tie. I wanted Melanie to like me! I soaked myself in Jade East Cologne and drove to her house. I arrived early so I circled the block until time to pick her up. When I pulled into her drive way, I checked my hair, sprayed breath freshener in my mouth, sprinkled some more cologne on myself and on the side of the seat where she would be sitting. (I hoped it would get to her.) I walked up to the door and rang the door bell. When her mother came to the door she invited me in, telling me that Melanie wasn’t quite ready. “Oh, that’s okay,” I gushed. “I don’t mind waiting at all!”

After a while Melanie walked into the room. I stood up and told her how beautiful she looked. As we walked to the car, I rushed ahead to open the door for her. I wanted her to like me. After the movie we went to eat. “Order anything on the menu,” I said. “Do you want to get the large pizza with all the toppings? We can do that.” I really wanted this girl to like me. She did.

Three years later I married her. The months passed. After adjusting to being married, things changed. “You had better get in the car! I’m not going to be late for church again. I’ll leave you. I mean it!” Then to the restaurant — “You know, we could just go to the drive through at McDonalds. They’ll sell those Happy Meals to adults!” In those days, she opened the car door for herself. I reasoned that I had her love now, so there was no need in all that dating stuff anymore.

Needless to say, by the end of our first year of marriage, conflict was common. Over a period of months as I prayed about our marriage, God revealed some things to me. I came to understand that I wasn’t to serve my wife so that she would love me, but because it was a way to express my love for her. Soon I began to act differently toward her and our marriage changed. I’ve been opening the car door for her now for many years, not so that she will love me, but because I love her. I’m not obligated to serve her through considerate gestures now. I’m free to do those things because I can rest, secure in her love for me.

Do you know that you can relax and enjoy God’s love without trying to earn it? When we know how much God loves us, it frees us to serve Him out of gratitude and love for Him. God loves you whether you open the car door or not! Service is difficult if we are trying to earn His favor, but it becomes a pleasure when it is a natural expression of the intimate relationship we share with Him.